Why Did You Change Your Name To Clooney, Amal?

Last month, Business Woman Media made a splash with its cheeky headline, “Internationally Acclaimed Barrister Amal Alamuddin Marries an Actor.” Their point being, here is a woman whose impressive accomplishments should not be overshadowed by her union with a famous man.

The polar opposite of a Hollywood starlet (no offense to the Stacy Keiblers of the world), Amal is an Oxford-educated human rights lawyer who speaks three languages. After wedding the world’s most eligible bachelor, did she start redecorating a Beverly Hills mansion? Wax rhapsodic about her pilates regimen to “Us Weekly”? No, she went back to work.

Amal Alamuddin had all of our respect, and then what did she do? She changed her name to Clooney like some 1950s housewife.

Say it ain’t so, Amal! I can’t help but be disappointed.

Read the rest of my semi-controversial post at mom.me…


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You Know You’re An Older Mom When…

There are many benefits to having kids later in life: You’re more settled and secure, you know who you are and you’ve already had a chance to see the world before making that lengthy stop in Diaper Town. That said, being an older mom also has some liabilities, like permanent exhaustion and very stubborn baby weight.

Does any of this sound familiar? Are you just a wee bit older than the average mom on the street? Here’s how to tell! You know you’re an older mom when…

1. The second trimester is just as debilitating as the first trimester.

2. You need bifocals to change the batteries in the ExerSaucer.

3. Everyone in Mommy & Me is having 30th birthday parties while you are celebrating your 40th.

4. You could be your babysitter’s mother.

5. You cut yourself some parenting slack because you’re old enough to remember riding in the “way back” with no car seat while your mom puffed Virginia Slims and your dad drank a Miller.

Read the list at mom.me…and if you like it, please share it!



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How We Told Viv (And What We’re Having!)

Me: Viv, we have some exciting news.  You know how you’re always saying you want to be a big sister?

Viv: Yeah?

Me: Well you’re going to be a big sister!


Viv bounces up and down on the couch, huge smile.  Then her face darkens.

Viv: But mom, I’ve thought about it, and I don’t want a little brother. I want a little sister.

Dave: Well, good news, honey, you’re going to have a little sister!

(So now Viv thinks you can just order up the gender of your choice like an ice cream flavor.  But whatever, it’s true.  We’re having a girl.)

This news produces another huge smile from Viv, then…

Viv: Can I go back to watching my show now?

Since I grew up with a brother, I do feel badly that Viv will not get to have a boy sibling, because they are wonderful, but mostly I am really excited and relieved. I can reuse the baby clothes, they can easily share a room, and I’ll probably never be peed on in the face.

As for raising sisters, well, I have no idea, other than I’m pretty sure I won’t bring the baby to magic trolls that wipe away her memories of her big sister’s ice powers and then keep them apart their whole childhoods. So wish me luck, and leave your advice in the comments!

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Here’s Hoping My Kid’s Not Talented

My 3-year-old daughter’s been taking an after-school dance class at our local recreation center. I don’t know what she loves more — the twirling, the tap shoes or shaking it off to Taylor Swift — but I’m glad she’s enjoying herself. I’m just hoping she’s not actually talented.

I recently had the pleasure of meeting the cast of “Dance School Diaries,” a popular YouTube series created by “So You Think You Can Dance” maestro Nigel Lythgoe. The show follows four gifted teenaged ballet dancers — Madison, Lex, Sage and Andrea — as they compete for a shot at the big time.

There are so many good things to say about these wildly talented kids. They are poised, self-possessed, passionate, focused and dedicated to a degree that is rare in someone so young (I recall my teen self practicing piano for a whopping 15 minutes before wandering off to watch Brady Brunch re-runs. Is it any wonder I only know “Chopsticks” today?).

But as a mom, the idea of parenting such a talented kid terrifies me. For one thing, these dancers work at their craft so intensely — Lex said 7-8 hours per day — that most have to be home schooled (my nightmare) and none of them has free time for such typical teen activities as roaming the mall. It worried me that they don’t get the chance to relax and just be kids.

Continued at mom.me… Read More »

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The 10 Types of Halloween Anxiety (For Parents)

Of course kids love Halloween — it’s the most rule-breaking holiday of the year! Candy for dinner, staying up past bedtime and wearing dress-up clothes outside adds up to an epically spook-tacular night. But for parents responsible for all the planning and preparation, pulling off their kids’ dream Halloween is no easy feat. Maybe not everyone is as neurotic as I am, but here are the sorts of issues I obsess over every October.

1. I should have made a homemade costume. This store-bought crap makes it look like I don’t care.

2. I should have never attempted a homemade Halloween costume. This sewing machine is a death trap and my hand is going to wind up stitched into my kid’s outfit like a human centipede.

3. If I buy the pumpkin too early, it’s going to implode into a disgusting gelatinous mass that I’ll be scraping off our front stoop for months. If I buy the pumpkin too late, we’ll wind up with a butternut squash.

4. Could a candy apple lead to a cavity that causes root canal that necessitates dentures? I can’t have my kid being the only one in Kindergarten who has to put her teeth in at lunchtime.

Continue the list at mom.me…

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