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My baby is turning one. While a lot of mamas are back to their pre-pregnancy weight by then, I’ve still got a ways to go. And frankly, I don’t really care. In fact, I bristle at the implication that I or any recently pregnant lady should be racing to shrink down. (Shut up, tabloids.)

Here are the many excellent reasons why I can’t possibly lose the baby weight right now, thank you very much. And if you need an excuse, feel free to borrow one of mine!

1. I use carbs to keep me awake.

2. My spare tire provides a nice cushion for the baby, like a human Boppy pillow.

3. It’s bad enough I yell sometimes from being tired and overwhelmed. If I was tired, overwhelmed and starving, they’d have to call CPS.

4. Full-fat dairy is recommended for one-year-olds. It’s also delicious.

5. Why pay for a gym membership I’ll never use when I could spend that money on Netflix, Hulu and Amazon Prime?

6. Counting calories requires brain cells I lost from being pregnant twice.

Don’t stop now! Head over to mom.me to keep reading…

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