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You’d think I’d be less scared to have a baby the second time around. I already know what labor and delivery feel like, how to care for a newborn, and that my life will never be the same. I’m not a true veteran like Michelle Duggar, but at least I’ve done this before.

Unfortunately, when it comes to juggling a helpless new baby with an older child (whom I predict will be pissed off and needy), I’m a clueless first-timer. Here’s why I’m scared:

1. If you looked up “choking hazard” in the dictionary, you’d see a picture of my 4-year-old’s toy collection. The Lite Bright set alone is more dangerous than a loaded gun. Don’t get me started on the Legos.

2. My daughter might make good on her threat to “hide the baby in the closet” or “carry her upstairs all by myself.” I don’t need a baby monitor—I need to put a cow bell on my big girl so I can always hear her coming.

3. I really got used to having alone time during preschool hours. I probably won’t have alone time again for three years. My sanity feels sad about this.

4. Instead of sleeping when the baby sleeps, I imagine I’ll be giving my preschooler a much-needed dose of one-on-one “Mommy time.” So when exactly do I sleep? Is 2017 a good guess?

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