Be Fruitful and Multiply?

Oh my God, you guys.

After our first cycle of IVF didn’t take, Dr. Rosenpenis made us come in for a post-mortem to discuss what went wrong.  I was trying to hang onto my optimism, and the last thing I needed was more insane analogies.

Do I even need to tell you what happened?

Dr. R said that since everything went perfectly on his end, he could only assume it was a bad batch of eggs.  “All duds,” as he put it.

“It’s like when you get to the 7-Eleven at two in the morning and the only fruit that’s left are the brown bananas that have been sitting around all day.  You don’t want any of that.”

While Rosepenis was looking at his computer, I made the “Did he really just say that to me” face at Dave, who had the presence of mind to whisper, “There’s your next blog.”  I love him.

At least I was reminded of my favorite Steven Wright joke: “If 7-Eleven is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why do they have locks on the doors?”   Answer me that and maybe I’ll finally get some sleep.

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  1. Rachel
    Posted November 14, 2012 at 12:02 pm | Permalink

    Did he seriously compare your eggs to rotten bananas? I would be out that door in a second and on to another doctor. He didn’t do everything right, he needs to tweak your med protocol, I hope he’s doing that (and explaining to you what he’s doing differently.) Try to stay positive!

    • Posted November 14, 2012 at 12:58 pm | Permalink

      I figure if his interpersonal skills are that bad, he must be really good at the science! I know he’s changing the protocol this time, I just could have used more information on that and more cheerleading and a lot less brown bananas.