My Anti-Bucket List: 10 Things I Have No Interest In Doing Before I Die

Damn that Morgan Freeman–the whole world is bucket list crazy.  Walking through any airport bookstore, I’m bombarded with thousands of things I should be doing, seeing, reading and eating before I die.

Too many things!  Can’t be done!  Time is precious, sure, but is turning life into an epic to-do list the way to enjoy it?  I’m officially over bucket lists.  If you ask me, bucket lists have jumped the shark.

Instead of pressuring myself to see the world, run a marathon or win a Grammy (as a mom to a toddler, I consider it a victory when I leave the house with clean hair), I thought I’d let myself off the hook on some of my least favorite activities.  So here they are…

10 things I’m simply not going to do anymore:

1. Go to Ibiza, or any other place where I’m supposed to take Ecstasy, wear a glow necklace and bounce frantically to seizure-inducing rave “music.”  If I wanted to relive an episode of my youth, it would involve a large pizza, a six-pack and my old metabolism.

2. Wait in line to return anything that costs less than $10.

3. Deep clean.  I’m cool with organizing and tidying, and I’ll do the bare minimum to keep stickiness at bay, but as long as I can pay someone else to scrub the toilet bowl, I will.  Life’s too short to do things I hate on a regular basis.

4. Watch movies or television shows about missing kids, kidnapped kids, sick kids, abused kids or pageant kids.  My heart can’t take it…

For the rest of the list, visit hilarious daddy blog Dad or Alive where I am proud to be guest posting.  And by all means, leave a comment over there so I seem popular.  Thanks!

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  1. Posted July 20, 2012 at 5:36 am | Permalink

    Love this! So so true! We all seem so caught up in all the things we need to “accomplish,” but it’s even harder when you’re busy with insignificant crap! I am about to turn 30 and have many things on the “Things to do Before You’re 30” list that have yet to be scratched off… So CHEERS to no more toilet scrubbing or pageant babies! And as another mom of a toddler, I, too value being able to leave the house with clean hair, underwear, etc. 😉

    • Amy
      Posted July 21, 2012 at 12:22 pm | Permalink

      Deborah – you’re lucky – if you’re only turning 30, you will still be young when your babe grows up and you will have plenty of time to get to all that stuff. I say enjoy the clean hair when you’ve got it and the rest will follow.

  2. Flying Neon
    Posted July 23, 2012 at 3:47 am | Permalink

    So does #9 mean that flying trapeze is out?

    • Amy
      Posted July 23, 2012 at 12:23 pm | Permalink

      Zane, definitely not! For one, there are nets to catch my fall. And second, I know a great teacher…

  3. Posted July 23, 2012 at 6:59 pm | Permalink
  4. Annie
    Posted September 4, 2012 at 11:13 am | Permalink

    This post cracked me up! Just came across your blog and it’s been making my morning, thank you. I was at a stroller strides class over the weekend (which i kinda can’t stand but am making myself go because i need exercise and i can take my 9 month old) and they made us introduce ourselves and say 1 thing that’s on our bucket list. Vomit. Why do they assume everyone need a bucket list?!

    • Posted September 4, 2012 at 11:48 am | Permalink

      So happy you found the blog! Yep, bad enough having to go to stroller strides in the first place…they just made it worse!

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  • By Liebster Award… google it. | dramafreemama on July 23, 2012 at 6:59 pm

    […] Carriage Before Marriage …I have followed this blog for a while, but have recently read it more regularly. And I absolutely LOVED the anti-bucketlist. Check her out! […]