Follow Amy:

To those who voted for Carriage Before Marriage in the Circle of Moms Top 25 blog contest, thank you so much.  The exposure has been amazing.  Finally, there are people who I have not lived with, slept with or split a pizza with reading the blog.  I have fans.  And what better place to answer their mail than right here on the blog?

Let’s start with this post on the Carriage Before Marriage Facebook page, under one of my many solicitations to vote in the Circle of Moms contest:

what a great ‘role model’ you are! I will vote for everyone 10,000 times before I give you a single vote.”

Dear Fan, if you’ve found a way to vote 10,000 times, can you let me in on it?  It would really help me in next year’s contest, for then I wouldn’t have to harass everyone over Facebook all the time.  Thanks for your help.

I also found this comment under the Today Moms article that quoted my blog.

“no matter what you tell yourself…you are just his ‘baby mama’ on her back.”

Dear Fan, as an exhausted mom to a one-year-old, I would kill for some down time on my back.  While I am a baby mama, I always seem to be on my feet.  What am I doing wrong?  Wait, don’t answer that.

Then there was this comment I received on a blog post:

“good morals is not having (and bragging) about kids before you get married.”

Dear Fan, did I seem like I was bragging?  So far I’ve confessed to being an out of shape, online shopping-addicted thief who is clueless about wedding planning and jealous that my daughter only walks for daddy.  As for good morals, well, tolerance is a nice start.

To my other fans, if you’ve been reading the blog, then you know that Carriage Before Marriage is not a political platform.  I am not trying to convert others to my way of life.   (And if I was, how would I do it?   Stand outside chapels and courthouses with a bottle of wine and some lube murmuring, “Psst, hey there nice couple.  Before you take that long walk down the aisle, why not get pregnant first?”)

I chose to blog as Carriage Before Marriage because I’m experiencing an unusual and special time in my life that I knew would be fun to document.   Plus, when entering into the competitive world of mommy blogging, you’ve gotta have a niche, and People I Want to Punch in the Throat was taken.

Frankly, I was surprised that my marital status bothered anyone who didn’t know me.  But as one of the commenters on the Today Moms piece explained:

“One day they [women who practice carriage before marriage] will realize that they are dragging us women down into the mud, making it impossible for good clean traditional women to even find a guy, cuz hey, why marry when I can do this girl and not commit. Must be heaven for guys these days.”

I have some sympathy for her plight.  If your best chance at getting a commitment is peer pressure, then yeah, it would suck if other women aren’t holding up their part of the group pact.

But ladies out there of the good clean traditional variety, in all sincerity, we should be celebrating living in a day and age when we have choices.  I’m grateful that a modern woman can select the partner she most loves, enjoys and respects, rather than entering into an arrangement based mainly on financial security and social status.  It wasn’t that long ago that our dads were paying dowries to unload us onto our grooms.  Surely it is better to enter into marriage freely and at our own pace.  This is mine.

 

 

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